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Choice Overload

by

Andi Miller

In this land of plenty we call America—the land of big advertising, gargantuan wealth, and gross excess—it is entirely possible to encounter too much choice. I feel it when I shop for groceries, shoes, makeup, and cookware. In recent years, I experience the awe and recoil associated with choice overload every time I gaze at my “to be read” (TBR) shelves. In my own house, among my own books, I’m reminded of the ridiculous number of possessions one can amass over time.

I’m sure there was a time when I had a less than intimidating TBR—a few books here and there—a miniscule little stack of ten or twelve unread tales. How it grew into the hundreds is beyond me. I really have no idea when it happened. The only thing I know for sure is that on the off chance I stopped buying, borrowing, or trading books this second, it would still take me (based on past experience and reading averages) approximately six to eight years to read all of the books I own.

As a college English teacher, this point in the school year is always overwhelming. With five classes worth of research papers to grade, final averages to tally, and records to get in order, I have little time for reading. I’ve been diligently plugging away at my current read for over a week. When I’m not nodding off in my reading chair that is. In the ludicrously busy moments, there is nothing I’d rather do than read what I want to read as opposed to what I’m bound to read by responsibility.

One distinct side effect to a harrowing end-of-semester rush is the fallout that usually occurs as a result. While I’m always excited to get back to my pleasure reading, I find that the buildup of expectation is a bit difficult to overcome. All of the books seem to scream at me from the shelves. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay does a seductive little jig, A Great and Terrible Beauty whines at me in a never-ending teenage twang, and What is the What shakes a stern finger in my direction, ordering me to pick it up immediately.

Alas, I can’t read all the books at once. I would need more time, better eyesight, and a knack for speed reading if I were to rush through them as fast as they beckon to me. Apparently it’s my lot in life to yearn constantly for books I have in my possession but can’t always pick up when the mood strikes.

Things like this—the overindulgence of books, the collecting—can inevitably lead to that oft dreaded phenomenon I referred to in an earlier installment of “The Finicky Reader” called The Bookworm’s Curse. The overzealous need to read counteracted by the impossibility of consuming the TBR all at once is a harrowing catch-22.

In coming weeks I’ll have unlimited reading time, a small window of opportunity between the end of the spring semester and the beginning of what promises to be a busy summer session. How will I choose my reading when there’s so much to rifle through? I might put names in a hat. I might close my eyes and point at a random selection in the stack. Or, as usually seems to happen, I might stand in front of my shelves, close my eyes and wait. Silently wait. Until, at last, the right title might peep out at me. Just a little screech or twitter from a bottom shelf or from behind a stack of newly acquired tomes. I wait for the right book to pop up and show itself. And then, I just know.

That, my friends, is how largely inexplicable, non-scientific reading magic happens in the face of a hulking TBR.


Andi is a recovering university academic employed by the North Carolina community college system as an English instructor. While she decided to forego a Ph.D. and career as a professor, she fills in all the free time her current position affords her with editing literary publications, reviewing, freelancing, and blogging. Her work can be found in the journal,
Multi-Ethnic Literature of the United States (MELUS), and Altar Magazine as well as online in various venues such as PopMatters.com. She is a member of the National Book Critics Circle (NBCC), and writes fiction. Her turn-ons include new books and gelato, while her turn-offs are reality television and washing dishes. She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  

 
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